Friday, August 26

Forever and a Day

I know, I know...
anyway. I am bored at work. Painfully, unendingly bored. My assistant is off, so I can't even add fuming to my list of things to do.
The main reason for my post, however, in to rant about something altogether different: wall paper.
I hate wallpaper. Never moreso than now, as I will be spending at least the better part of my weekend dealing with the aftermath of removing it from probably the smallest room of my house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I knew it would be a pain, I knew it would be messy, wet, possibly involving chemicals. I had no idea that, along with the wallpaper, I would end up removing half of the paper from the drywall below. Let me tell you, friends... this is not cool. I beg any of you contemplating wallpapering something to stop, drop, and kick yourself in the head. Also, if you must wallpaper, for the LOVE OF GOD, paint at least a primer coat over bare drywall first! You see, every wallpaper removing technique, chemical, tool, or other voodoo does not differentiate between paper you want off and paper that must remain on the frickin' wall. That is why we love paint, that easy to apply barrier that keeps all things safe, where mistakes are relatively easy and affordable to fix, and where nothing evil ever has to happen to the thing below that cannot be undone. Unless, I guess, your desire is to go back to bare drywall, cuz you're an idiot or something, and like looking at spackle holes, but whatever... I wasn't talking to you anyway.
So - after removing paper I didn't want, and paper I did, I got to seal what was left with a "low odor" sealant. I thought I was going to get a nosebleed. It is actually quite stinky, which makes me wonder what the "high odor" option is. I sure will not be trying to find out. Step two, for tomorrow, will be basically covering the entire lower half of our basement bathroom/laundry room walls in the contractor's version of Bondo. Then sanding. Then sealing (again the smell!). Then, finally, painting.
I imagine some people out there (including my mother in law) are saying, "why didn't you just paint over the wallpaper?). I'll tell you why: cuz that's just half-assed, and I would have stared at the seams in the wallpaper, peaking through the paint that should be nice and smooth, and it would have given me an aneurism. Maybe not the first day, or the second, but eventually, that girl, her horse, and that semester in college would have gotten the better of me, and I would have just keeled over dead. And I don't want to die in a bathroom/laundry room. I mean, how sad would that be?