Wednesday, August 25

I'm only doing it because I care

Subject: Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him,a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him,a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health
care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense.A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands
die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution,which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft
can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

"Friends don't let friends vote Republican."

Tuesday, August 24

Capital L oser

I totally forgot to mention that I did, in fact, receive an e-mail confirmation from that hotel-place and we gals are in like Flynn for the weekend of Oct. 2-3, so pack your bags, a little money (or a lot) and get ready for some crazy suite fun! Is that a "woo" I hear? I think it is!!


Is it over yet?
This whole house thing is just so overwhelming. One thing after another. One more check to write after another. I thought everything would be ok, tight, but ok, but now I'm starting to second guess it, and I'm getting myself a little freaked out. Or, a lot really. Yeah... a lot.
I know it'll all be worth it in the end, but right now it's not any fun at all, the worrying about money stuff. It sucks. And damn it, I really wanted that beautiful cashmere sweater from Marshall's. (I know, it's good to want things).

In other news, I learned a great breathing technique in physical therapy tonight (strange as that may sound), which is very calming and which I believe I will be utilizing often in the weeks and months to come. And it even helps my back. It's pretty cool, really.

Ok... I should go so I can learn something about homeowner's insurance. Sounds like fun, non? Pas du tout.

Oh - and Mandarin starts tomorrow night! I'm hoping it'll be a good thing for me to have something besides the house (oh, and work) to wrap my brain around for awhile. Either that, or I'll fail miserably because I can't concentrate. We'll see. Yippee!!

Friday, August 20

The Zipper

from my coworker's Friday joke:

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

Tuesday, August 17

hell in a handbasket

Sorry for the no posty-posty, but as the majority of you know, I was pretty much out of commission with the brokey back for quite a while, and sitting in front of the computer at home was not really an option.
Then, when it was, blogger was not letting me in. So now I'm taking a minute to put up an update from work. Naughty naughty me!!
So - there is big news. Work is insane. Family is insane. Stress level rising. Therefore, buy a house. Clearly, these are the workings of a demented mind. I haven't had a good nights' rest in a week. I'm exhausted. But the appraisal is probably today, and the inspection is tomorrow morning. UPB dropped off the myriad of papers at the bank today, so now we wait. Y'all know how much I love that, the waiting. And I'm so good at it!!
Anyway... time to go home for lunch and possibly a cat nap.