that thing's gotta hemi

Lots of people, including probably you if you're reading this, like to use their blogs as a place to voice their current gripe. Guess what? My turn. I'm very, very sick of car companies trying to sell me on features they claim their cars/trucks/suvs possess, which do not impart any benefits as far as I (the average car/truck/suv owner) know. Examples: some trucks have 'hemis'. Now, as far as I know, so does my car. It probably doesn't, but if it did, why would that be better? It seems, from the commercials, that it might have something to do with pickup. But does it? I have no idea. Is my car 'trail-rated', as evidently all Jeeps are? I don't know. What does that mean? I mean, my car would probably fit on a bike trail better than most Jeeps, does that mean it's also 'trail-rated'? Additionally, I believe there is some truck where the thingy are welded to the outside parts, or some such thing. As opposed to what? And again, why is this something that a) is important or even b) I want? It's clear that advertising is usually flawed, but I was under the impression that the feature/benefit relationship was fairly understood as a good way to sell things. For instance, this new food product has more x, it is therefore tastier than before. Feature-more x, benefit-tastier. Easy. Or: cleaning product is now available in disposible wipes, instead of you needing rags. Feature - wipes, benefit - convenience. See? I'm a savvy consumer. I don't even need the benefit completely spelled out for me. But I need to understand that there is a benefit, or I'm not interested and I assume your company thinks that I'm dumb enough buy into jargon and catch phrases. Oh.... damn... most people are. F-ing lowest-common-denominator. I hate them.

I feel dirty

I'm at my dad's, and posting, which means I'm currently using AOL. I'll be taking a nice, hot bath when I get home, I think.
I'm here and the fam isn't (except for B, and she's busy with homework). They're at Gramma's cuz she's giving TJ her car. Obviously. Not that I want it, mind you. It's big. But... it's the same old story. He does a lot for her, since he's around town and can, so it's fair, but... but... but... I'm a whiney bitch. But then, you knew that.
That's about all I have. I think I'll go join UPB and enjoy some "Nightmare Before Christmas" which is on the tee-v. Yay!!

Oops I did it again

Ok, so CB's due date was actually today. My bad. The baby still isn't here. One could debate whether it would be better to be stuck inside CB, where one can't see her, or to get out of her as quickly as possible, to try to distance oneself from her asap. Regardless, this child is in for a life of torment, I'm certain.
On a happier note, I can smell dinner smells and I'm looking forward to a tasty meal, followed by the beloved hockey on the tee-v.

It must be me

I look and realize I haven't posted since Sunday, and that seems like a long time. Possibly because much of yesterday and quite a bit of today was spent in front of a computer, yet till now, no posty-posty.
Thanks to my helpful friends for taking hand-outs on Sunday night. My front-hall closet (such as it is) thanks you, as well.
This week is hair cut week, though the exact time is a bit sketchy, having to try to accomodate the hockey, you know. What? It's important!
My house is feeling the same pain as chez Plinko in the insurance department. Evidently, masses of lay-offs can't offset the clutziness of our office. We evidently hurt ourselves a lot, in very expensive ways. Speaking of physical comedy, CB's due date has come and gone (it was today) and yup... there she is. Still at work. And here's something I can't help but share because I'm (6): today she told Plinko not to touch her cookies. At least, I assume she was talking to him. And I'm assuming that she was talking about baked goods... but you know what happens when you assume. A coworker said today that CB can't be close to delivering because she isn't "miserable enough". I think she's obviously overlooked the fact that CB was born miserable and is now just bigger.
That's about all I've got... time to hit the hay and get ready to enjoy the first Wednesday in a long time when I don't really have to worry about the weather. Hooray!!

5 down, countless to go

That's right, kids, we're talking laundry again.
I don't know how it happens. It just multiplies. It's as if my angora sweaters are actual rabbits, doing what rabbits do, and making more sweaters on the bottoms of piles, underneath umpteen pairs of jeans, socks, and what-have-you. Sweaters that I've never seen before. I have officially run out of room for clothes. So I'm pruning (again), but not very successfully. Also - something or someone has stolen all of my spare hangers. Very strange.
At anywho rate... if I can stay motivated, I may stay home tonight (sorry) and keep up the cleaning streak. There's just so much that hasn't been done in so long. Not just laundry, but vacuuming, dusting, regular old cleaning stuff that's starting to wear at me. I know I will be in no mood to do it this week, not with work ramping up to a fever pace. Tonight just may have to be the night.
Don't worry - I don't love you any less. I promise.

Sunday already?

Wow. This weekend has flown by. And I'm feeling like I need a second wind already today -- not a good sign. I have this giant list of things that I'd like to accomplish in my head, but I suppose that sitting here isn't getting any of them done. Ok... here I go. Status reports will follow as necessary.

and I'm spent

Last game of volleyball for the season tonight. And we lost. Of course. But, there were many laughs along the way. And not all of the foibles were on our side of the net, which is something, I guess.
Today was a good day at work because I didn't get fucked. You gotta count your blessings.
Also, UPB is a very good shopper.
In other news, happy b-day to Momma, and my condolences to C. You're not alone... some of us have seen the craziness you're going through and have made it to the other side.

it is a ... *expletive*

work work work work work
Not that I'm doing a whole lot extra of it right this minute, it's just... parts of it are making me want to stab myself in the eye with my fork while at lunch at Mario's. So that's never good. Mario's is supposed to be a happy place, filled with tasty blended drinks and potato-cheesy goodness. That's how you know things are going to get ugly, that's all I'm saying. And if I end up with more work because someone is a whiny bitch (and I don't even mean Plinko), I think a vein in my head may burst.
It's all crazy non-interesting details that are going to be making my work life a little (ok, a lot) more difficult for the next, say, three months minimum.... so - I probably won't delve into them too much on here, but I'll probably have plenty 'o the bitching to do in person. (Just warning you now.)
With that, I should probably be getting to bed to prepare for yet another day of craziness.
Oh - and it's looking like I'll be leaving for a far-off land the first Wednesday of December, coming back the Friday of the next week, most likely. If I travel with my boss, I may leave a day early, if not, I might be back a little sooner. It's all very sketchy, which is so comforting. I don't think I've convinced my boss to let me take a little side-trip to see S in Ethiopia, unfortunately. (Ok, I didn't really think that was going to happen...)
Anywho... here I go. G'night!

funny things are funny

Hi everyone. I'm home. Seems like it's been awhile.
Dinner/breakfast last night was tasty. I feel bad that I wasn't hungrier, but UPB and I spent the day shopping (gap clearance=big scores) and I had 'the sandwich' at Famous Dave's for lunch. But I did so enjoy my pancakes a la lemon. All the rest of you suckers are missing out, I'm telling you.
Today was a day-trip to Milwaukee and here's what we learned: there's a neat little neighborhood in Wauwautosa (I think!) with a Noodles & Co and a Chancery. We enjoyed the later, and look forward to returning to enjoy the former some time soon (maybe before the next movie we must see at the Times?). The Chancery has good food. We all enjoyed our meals, and mine came with malted milk balls and an oatmeal raisin cookie, for no apparent reason, but I wasn't complaining.
The Animation Festival was sooper fun. Laugh-out-loud funny for some of the bits, bewildering during some others (example: "Mt. Head" - man kills himself by throwing himself into the pond on his head, left there after he ripped out a cherry tree--Japanese and not anime, I loved it), also delightfully dark ("Vincent" from our pal Mr. Burton), visually appealing but otherwise meh ("The Cathedral"), the afterlife as brought to you by varying degrees of technology ("50% Gray") and others. I'm very, very glad we went. We need to keep going to things at that theatre, that's what I think.
Next stop: Tip Top, which lived up to its name. Lots of stuff still there from the last time I was, and nothing in the housewares department I couldn't live without, but I scored a loverly little cardigan and UPB got a swank western shirt. The shop-owners are just so neat, I love going there.
Took the long way (which was my fault) back out to Wauwatosa so I could get behind the wheel of an S. We got there 10 minutes before they closed, so it wasn't much of an experience. We gave a girl from Sweden and a guy from Guatamala, returning from a test-drive of their own, our two last Swedish fish, which was kind of funny. Turns out that I am bad at getting into reverse on a 6-speed. Good to know.
Started heading north to get home, made a quick stop at the Half-price Books (I also stopped at the pet store next door and got chewed on by a naughty baby chin), saw a book about underwear dos and don'ts which was cute, and then headed back so the other kids could get to their next activities.
I'm now spent and about ready to fall asleep. I think I'm going to just crash on the couch in front of the Badgers' game and listen to the rain. I'd enjoy it more (the rain) if I didn't know that it signalled a cold front and quite possibly the last of our Indian summer. And just when I got this cute cute skirt that isn't really wintery even a little. At least I got to wear it today.

Love is in the air

Tomorrow is our anniversary. Happy, happy to my hubby. I love you.

Good things come

Remember last week? When it was sucky and cold? Me neither! Yay sunshine and buzzy bees and I should have hung the wash on the line, but the tree is in the way. Yay!

4x in one night!

sounds like it could be the subject for spam, I know. But... I'm feeling chatty and have something to whine about.
I was making good progress on the laundry, and had big plans to continue my streak and possibly have it all done by the weekend. Then disaster struck. Ok, maybe disaster is a bit too strong a word, but I'm miffed. Tonight I put a load of laundry in the dryer. A good amount of time later, I returned, to find warm, wet clothes. Hmm... if I hadn't started the dryer at all, they'd be cold, so that's not the problem. I seem to remember setting the timer for way more than I needed to - like two hours, so the problem shouldn't be that it just ran for a few minutes and then stopped. No, turns out that the problem is that the dryer is blowing hot hot air, as it should, but it isn't moving the clothes at all. No tumbling. Huh. Ok... I don't know how to fix that. I thought... maybe the problem is that the load is too heavy, so I took out most of the clothes. Nope. It can't even turn a couple pairs of underwear. Ok... now I'm stuck with wet laundry hanging all over the house. If it were warmer, and I was crazy like a certain person's father, I'd just drive around town with the clothes flapping out of the car windows, but it's not, so instead they're draped over everything I could think of. We're just a house with wheels and a car without away, I'm telling you...
Oh, and I'm all excited about my new titles.

I AM A BANANA!

Just a not-so-gentle reminder:
The Times Cinema
Starts Friday
Mike Judge & Don Hertzfeldt present "The Animation Show," an eclectic
collection of shorts, which includes some fresh and very funny work from Don and Mike. Nightly at 7:00 and 9:15; Saturday and Sunday at 1:30, 3:30, 7:00
and 9:15. [Previous, the last show on Saturday and Sunday has been reported as
9:00; the correct time is 9:15.]
PLUS!
Friday, October 10 only... Don Hertzfeldt will make a much-anticipated
appearance at the Times, with his creative sidekick Robert May.

As I've already RSVPd for dinner plans on Friday (and I imagine the place will be packed) I'm hoping we can plan a road-trip for another time during the weekend. Who's with me?

Typhoid Me

Oh, also, today I got the first in a series of vaccinations I need to take my trip in December. It was ok. The nurse suggested (strongly to me, less strongly to my co-worker for some reason) that in addition to Hep-A & B, we take precautions against Typhoid Fever. I took her up on it and now there are 4 capsules of "live typhoid something-or-other" in my fridge. Seems a little scary. In doing a little reading up on Typhoid Mary, assuming that would come up somehow, I came across a lovely word from some obscure (and probably outdated) New York law:
Said board may remove or cause to be removed to [a] proper place to be by it designated, any person sick with any contagious, pestilential or infectious disease; shall have exclusive charge and control of the hospitals for the treatment of such cases. [Section 1170]6
Doesn't "pestilential" just beg to be brought back into the common vernacular? Already several people spring to mind, I'm sure.

Candy Candy Candy I Can't Let You Go

You know the old Reese's commercial - two great tastes that taste great together, or the timeless quote from "The A-Team": I love it when a plan comes together. These are my current sentiments, for I have learned that the latest contest from our friends at (imagine little hearts here) Hershey's is the chance to win a what? That's right, a Mini. Filled with what? Yes, you guessed it, Hershey's bars. I... ah.... um... wow. Stutteringly happy at the prospect. Of course, like any other contest, the chances of winning are infinitesimal, but I am not deterred. I will just have to buy Hershey's bars from now until September 30th of next year, or until I break down and buy a Mini. Or, you know, forever. I'd be ok with that, too. So... who's up for s'mores?

I probably shouldn't even be blogging now. Despite an enjoyable Packer game, I'm feeling melancholy. And not for any good reason. But I suppose that's sort of the definition. If you have a good reason, then it's just sadness, right? Meh.

Oh, and aLo's right - if it takes you 15 minutes to fill in the blogger survey, you probably aren't writing anything anyone wants to read, anyway.

Dear Bebo,
You have pulled off the Jackie-O dress. You are a bad-ass. Your website is now camo-colored, for heaven's sake! You rule!!

In other news, I feel like it's been a strange week. I can't quite put my finger on why, but it just was. Maybe it was the realization that DerK and I have been traveling in intersecting circles for years and years and never knew it, or each other, until very recently. Maybe it was being a bit ill. Maybe it was the snow. Or waking up Sunday not hung-over. Or bowling possibly the best game of my life last night. Or being left nearly alone at work yesterday. Quite likely it's a combination of all of these events and more. All I'm saying is that there's weirdness, people, and it's all around us. Well, around me, anyway.

Today I'm working to put at least a small dent in the laundry. Things have gotten a little out of control. Most likely because over the past few weekends I haven't been real motivated to do household-type things. Or get off of the couch. I think that once things are clean I'm going to have to do some serious editting of my wardrobe. Again. Seriously, no two people should own as many clothes as we do. Or things, for that matter. I'm determined to start working on that. Now if I could only find the room to start making piles of what to keep and what to pitch, I'd be all set. At this point, it's looking like a healthy cleansing fire may be my only hope.

Now it's time to go look at the catalogue I got in the mail today. Oh wait...

You know... I'm in marketing. Or, that is/was my field of study. So I'm all for branding. It's important. But, if you're not careful with it, it can also stab you in the eye.
Take, for example, Anthropologie. I've been drooling over their catalogues, their store design, most everything they do, for quite a few years. I think they have a very unique look and a really interesting product assortment. However, if you do enough digging on their website (say...you may be interested in what kinds of job openings they may have...) you will find that they are owned by the same company as Urban Outfitters. Click.. click... suddenly that makes perfect sense. Overpriced clothes that are trying desperately to define hip, one for grown-ups, one for college kids. Genius. But it kind of wrecks it for me, somehow. Now they're not a neat little company that grew a little bigger because they have neat stuff, now they're just another Gap or The Limited or (insert mall brand here) that carries stuff with appliques and lace, instead of weathered-looking screen prints of beaches you've never been to. Disappointing. But they do it so well, I still want that dress, damn it. *shakes fist*

I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who noticed the snow. It's un-fucking-believable. That's an exact quote of what I said when I walked outside into it.
I am not pleased. This weather is depressing. Usually, I like fall. Not as much as most other people, but you know, the colors are pretty, and Halloween's good, and all that. This, this colder than inner circles of hell, this jumping the gun right to winter, this I cannot abide. It's unfair. It's unreasonable. The terrorists have already won.
And, because I am a moron, and because I love my sissy, I'm playing volleyball in this shite. Oh, also because I can't say no.
Also, I'm crabby cuz my tummy has been a bit off all week.
The End.