Tuesday, July 30

Note to Ruby:
You can't be a bad guy, because you haven't grasped one of the cardinal bad-guy rules: DO NOT PUBLISH PEOPLE'S ENTIRE REAL NAMES ON THE INTERNET. Hello? I don't want some Ruby-groupie dolt knocking on my door. For that, I may just have to take your link down. Now, I notice you use your entire real name, but that's just bad form.

That said, I have another crazy work story for those keeping up with the EOL stories (EOL either stands for Evil Oompa Loompa, or, for the slightly bigger geeks amongst us, Evil Over Lord). Evidently, my imminent departure has created quite a hullabaloo. My friend S. (i.e. Rox without the bedazzling) was trying to organize the now-presupposed pig-out, when the EOL stomped on the plan. As a temp, I do not warrent a going-away party. Whatever - that's fine by me, since it's not really ever a party in our department anyway. Then, the second-in-command (i.e. Lap Dog/Watch Dog) brought up the idea again (though not to the EOL), and so it was resurrected. At this point, I have no idea if there will be food or no, which (I reiterate) is FINE. The only thing that makes me a little sad is that sweet, "canadian" D. decided it should be a Canadian Theme! How cool is that? Let me answer: very cool. So stay tuned, gang

Monday, July 29

The loudest fly in the world is buzzing around me. Bother.
And since July 34th is almost upon us, I thought I'd share my 'still mad' story.
Now, those of you who read this probably know me well enough to know that I'm not generally the kind of person who gets (or especially stays) mad very often, so this writing assignment was a bit of a challenge. But I've got something, boy howdy.
So it begins... during my childhood, and moreso during my adolescence, I didn't ask for, nor receive very many material things from my dad. I didn't have a lot of clothes, books, music, whathaveyou. This was fine. (Well, mostly, but that I'm over.)
What I'm not over, is that, while on a family trip to Canada (Toronto) and Nigara Falls, the one thing I wanted and received was an Edie Brickell t-shirt. Anyone not familiar with Edie should not tell this to me, because I think she's awesome. At the time, I thought she was the MOST AWESOME. Therefore: this is a shirt that was rather important to me. It was the Shooting Rubber Bands at the Stars album cover, and I loved it.
That is why I'm still mad that one day the shirt disappeared. (This is not the sad part.) Said shirt reappeared several weeks later, while I was folding laundry. It had, however, been disfigured. My brother decided that he didn't have enough football-pad covering shirts of his own, so stole my beloved t-shirt, cut the bottom (and much of the art) off, and was using it for scrimmages. Now, as much as I love football, this was by far not the first shirt of mine to suffer this fate, but certainly the most important, and even I don't love football that much. To this day, it makes me want to a. cry and b. risk another broken nose attempting to pound his little face in.
That is my entry - and I'm currently tied with Plinko for most posts today.

And, because I know that many of you TMBG lovers do not listen to the public radio quite as often as, say, DerK or UPB or I, you may have missed this wonderful segment from this past weekend's "This American Life", featuring live performances by J&J. *sigh*

So... my very thoughtful friends, the Jones, thought that they were keeping a very wonderful secret from me, waiting to tempt me until I was reasonably employed. However, I knew of this site long ago, but just decided to add it to my list of links because I got my head out of my bum. (Bum means butt, I know because I was in England.)

Saturday, July 27

Thanks, everyone in attendance, for a very nice evening around the fire and in the rain. Today hubby and I are busting our rumps, working on picking up the house, etc. (Not actually lifting it up, but that's about how tired I feel right now!) We also decided on a fun paint idea for our bedroom, that will be probably be happening some time soon after the big Con.
That's about all.

(Actually written Friday afternoon...)

T-minus… one hour and ten minutes. What does that T-minus thing mean anyway? I’m positive that one of you bad guys must know.
I have come to the conclusion that someone is playing a huge cosmic trick on me. Today I got a call from the outplacement place that Enzy signed us all up for. They heard from a recruiter who wanted to get a look at my resume for an undisclosed job in the “Fox Valley Area” that he thought I’d be perfect for. What’s going on? Where am I? Or, as UPB would say, “Who?” Better question: where the hell were all these people 6 months ago? Or even two weeks ago? I... I’m confused. Evidently, the word on the street is: you need to git ‘choself somma dat Velveteen, ‘cause she’s goin’ outta style. (In my world, that’s how you talk on the “street”.) So… just so everyone out there is on the same page: I HAVE A JOB! I’M EXCITED ABOUT IT! LEAVE ME ALONE NOW PLEASE! Sorry to shout, but somehow I needed to.
Oh… where does the time go? It’s now T-minus 25 minutes. Just like that! Magic! And the week is almost over. Tonight should be fun. A little haircut (not for me), a little Chinese, a little fire, and maybe a little Matty! My friend from work may be dropping by the hiz-ouse with her son, who loves me because I brought bubbles to work the day he visited. Yay me! We can sit outside all night and enjoy the airplane noise. Have I mentioned that I love airplane noise? It’s true. I love it in the morning, during brunch, at noon, during my afternoon nap, while enjoying dinner, watching tv, trying to sleep… yep, I LOVE IT! What’s scary is, I’m not actually sure how sarcastic I’m being. I do kinda think it’s cool. Maybe because I don’t ever ever have to go to that side of town. “Target?” you may ask. Appleton. Two of ‘em. Bang. You see, I’m not some sissy that thinks that Appleton is like 4 states away or some crap. Quit whining, enjoy the boost to the local economy, and drive to Appleton, that’s what I say. Or at least, that’s what I would say if anybody asked.

And now I have a challenge for all of you: pretend you only vaguely know me. And by that, I mean, you have no idea that there is the concept of “the bad guys”, let alone my bad guy name. You have no idea who my friends are. You are (for example) an employer, and a somewhat aloof one, at that. Now (and here’s the challenge) go to Google, or your favorite search dealy, and find a website that I have something to do with. Better yet: find mine. GO!
And post your results, please. This is just a little test… I’ll explain somewhere down the road. Thanks for your cooperation and help.
V out.

Thursday, July 25

Oh... and for the record for all those not present last night (or who showed up after this sore old woman went home to go to bed)
Friday: dinner (on your own or whatever we figure out tomorrow) followed by:
fire at our house.

With all the flyers descending on our lovely town, our house is the safest, best bet to avoid seeing hundreds of sun-burned hat-wearing men.

More junk mail worth sharing... (in the love-fest vein)

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He
remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead
for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was
standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like
Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a
man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out,
"Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the
traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came
to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never
been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man
inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place
that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and
sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he
gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back
toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road
said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope.That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use heaven's name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they
screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without
writing a word, maybe this could explain:
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what
you do?
You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you
forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know
how, you forward jokes.
And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?
A forwarded joke. So my friend, next time if you get a joke, don't think
that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been
thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to
send you a smile...... :-)
Have a great day!

Wednesday, July 24

Once again I find myself not overly drawn to working real hard. I have about 45 minutes left in my work- day, and I think I’m about done. I’m sore and tired and coming off of a stress-induced craze.
Yesterday, yesterday everything was happy-happy. What could be better? Two job offers, one accepted, a little celebrating ensued. Today I get another call. From a headhunter. He wants to tell me about an opportunity he has for me. The whole thing is laughable, until I tell him, no, thank you, I just accepted a position.
“Oh, can I ask where?”
“Well, Oshkosh B’Gosh, actually.”
“Hmm. Well, that’s interesting. We were working on something there for you, weren’t we? I distinctly remember presenting you to them and they were very interested.”
From this, you need to understand that this means he thinks he’s due some money from OKbG because they’ve offered me a job. A year and a half after he sent them my resume. Three (possibly four?) positions applied-for later. Whatever. Then (and this is when my stress level begins to rise) he tells me he’s going to have to call my hook-up at B’Gosh. NOT COOL. I try my best to stay calm, play the you-gotta-do what you-gotta-do card, but I was ticked. I haven’t heard from this guy since I lost my job at Enzy, and then (remarkably) he calls the day AFTER I get a job? Coincidence – or do I have to start being more private on this-here uber-web? It makes you wonder….
After I get off the phone, I begin to panic. I call my hook-up. Busy. And I’m supposed to chat with him during the quickly decreasing minutes of my lunch hour about HR type stuff.
Ok… pacing…pacing….smoking….pacing. You get the idea. I leave him a message (sounding as freaked out as I felt), got to work, and e-mailed him. The gist: PLEASE don’t NOT hire me because this headhunter guy whom I’ve never even met face-to-face is a dildo.
He (thankfully) calls me back (on my cell, since I don’t (and won’t) have a real phone at my desk) and basically talks me down from the ledge. Headhunter guy doesn’t have a leg to stand on, and even if he did, it’s our problem (meaning B’Gosh), not yours (meaning mine). Ahh….and the oxygen begins to return to my lungs. They still have nothin’ but love for old V. *shwew*
All that said, the day is over. Only 7 more days at 4imprint, and then I'll be famous.
Oh, and yes, Plinko, I do still need that font.

I’m totally cheating. I’m writing my blog right now, while I’m at work, and I’m going to e-mail it to myself to post later.
This is because I’m too excited to work. I have no desire to check pricing, colors, or anything else having to do with my current job.
Because… I got the job at B’Gosh! Happy day! Happy day! I start August 5 (which means I had to give slightly less than two weeks’ notice). My boss here at 4imprint seems convinced that B’Gosh is going to break off and fall into the ocean (no wait, that’s California)… well, at any rate she doesn’t seem to think they’re going to be sticking around ‘ole Osh-burg for any significant length of time. To this I respond:
Ppttbbttbbttbb! Like I’ve never been laid off before. Like I’m going to sit around here making chump-change when I could be making more than chump-change and climbing the proverbial ladder. Did I mention ladder-climbing may involve travel… to places like Hong Kong? Umm… OK! Other concerns about B’Gosh: they work you to death – 1,000 hours a week +. Answer: Evidently, the director of this department thinks people who have actual lives outside of work are better, happier employees (genius!). Plus, I’m hourly. Muchos work = muchos ching-ching. Oh yeah. Sometimes being salaried is a status-symbol, sometimes it just means you’re a sucker. I’m currently very happy with my method of payment.
So… to continue: under the heading “when it rains, it pours”, my former boss, who is a boss again because the mucky-mucks at Enzy pulled their heads from their rear-ends, e-mailed me to ask if I’d be interested in my old job back. In the space of an hour, I went from having one ~eh~ (or ~meh~) job prospect, to three, two of them being very good. DOH! And I have to say, if I hadn’t already signed on with B’Gosh, I’d be torn. Only because I LOVED working for S., my boss. He ruled. But I don’t think that hour-one-way thing can compete with the commute of three blocks (and the possibility of international travel). But I would be more than willing to freelance (hint hint, nudge nudge).
And, to top off my already blessed afternoon – I won a free Mountain Dew. Yes, folks, it is my lucky day. So if you all had bad-luck days, I’m sorry, I must have been hogging it all. But I have to say, I’m feeling a bit entitled. My karma hadn’t exactly balanced out since that whole telemarketing thing (being forced to make grandmas cry is no way to make money, folks) – now I say I’m even with the universe.

Monday, July 22

Toooooo-morrow! tomorrow! I'll find out if I have a job tomorrow. Or not. We'll all just have to wait anxiously to find out.

So much productivity... with so much help. Mr. Jones, I owe you yet another. Perhaps I should be more specific... I owe you another thank you, possibly a drink... don't get any big ideas. ;)

Sunday, July 21

Hello all!
This weekend has been jam-packed. Friday night we just chilled at out pad, enjoying tasty gin, so-co, and Ting. We are old, and had to wake early Saturday morning to join UPB's family in an excursion to the Madison Farmers' Market. Now... I'm sure you all know how much love we have for said event, but unbeknownst to us, in was also State St.'s sidewalk sale. We could have spent much time and money in Mad-town that day, but it was warm, and it is exhausting to be the favorite play-mate of a five-year-old. We ended up getting carrots, a few savories like garlic, etc, and some jam. Mmm... jam. We ate at Noodles and then got the crap out of town. We didn't, however, get to Oshkosh until several (3? 4?) hours later because Mr. K thought it would be fun to take the Merrimac ferry home. Now, I haven't looked at a map, but due to several detours along the way, I think we were at the Dells. Not exactly on the way home. And there was the storming. I love thunderstorms. Usually. And these were cool, but we were on roads originally made by, near as I could tell, mountain goats. And seeing was becoming difficult. All in all it was a good time, but I was very happy to be home.
Speaking of weather, I hope Shirley is pleased at the results of his taunting the sun. Dumb-ass. Even I'm hot now... thanks.
Today we dined at the OCB in FDL (tee-hee) with my grandma, bro, and dad to celebrate my grandma's birthday. We had to wait to be seated. I've never had that happen before. Very strange. It was nice and filling. And I don't know how they make their cheesecake, but I sure do like it.
And the news all of you have been waiting for.... I'm still waiting to hear if I got the job at B'Gosh. Now, "still waiting" is a bit unfair, since it's only been 2 non-business days since my interview, but I was told Friday that I should know by Tuesday. Lickity-split. I think the interview went fairly well. I feel qualified for the position, the people that interviewed me were nice, so... fingers crossed people.
And now that screen savers is over and I've seen all there is to see of the TMBG appearance there-on (which I actually only view 1/3 of) we are off to the boys' house for dee-nar. And yes, I'm counting on my sweater still being there from last week.

Tuesday, July 16

I blogging. Cuz, darn it, I can. Not because I have anything whatsoever of interest to report.
My interview with B'Gosh is, indeed, Friday morning. I rushed to the salon after my 9 1/2 hour work day for an emergency panic hair cut, which it was then decided that I don't in fact need. So I'll spend my dolarnos on a manicure, which (for those doubting) I do need. Nothing like freshly groomed hands to land a new job. I'm convinced.
I should be headed to bed, because tomorrow is another 9 1/2 hour work day (I need to make up the hours that I'll be missing Friday morning, you see). Unfortunately, tomorrow won't be super-pig-out the-entire-company-wide-pot-luck day, like today was. Tomorrow, in fact, is look-your-best-there-are-big-wigs-a-foot day, as is Thursday. Hooray! Hooray again for fake and (scary as this may seem) not-so-fake corporate pride!
I believe I've officially run out of my alloted hyphens for the evening, so I think I'll be signing off. For anyone interested, our volleyball game is at 7:15 (this is not an invitation to watch), but I imagine that I will be at the P with the UPB for dinner before said time. (That part is an invitation.)
Belated thanks to Invisible Pete and the newly-named (doh!) Lord Sweetness for a generous and delicious meal. I hope you both enjoy your likenesses as much (or more?) than DerK.
I'm feeling a little mushy, so I just wanted to say how much I love having all you bad guys as my family. You all make me smile every day.

Monday, July 15

Changes are a-coming.
Today's big new, in addition to the lovely new graphics for your enjoyment, is that I have an interview with B'Gosh sometime Friday morning. That is to say... I have a doctor's appointment. Or at least that's what 4imprint will be led to believe. No need to go jumping the gun or causing undo panic.
This is a short one... more fun to be had.
And Rev... you are worth every drop of strange and wonderful beverages. :)

Sunday, July 14

Howdy all who happen to stumble here...
I've (obviously) moved. This is because we are hooked up. It is a happy time at the K household.
I am so full. So very, very full. All you suckers that chose sleep over breakfast - you lose.
Anyway - it's time for me to play. Much work to do on implementing the diabolical project of one Mr. Jones' and mine. Too much fun for two people who aren't in bed.
More later - possibly when I'm not so full. And I can use complete sentences. Maybe.

Monday, July 8

"When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?" This is why it's ok that some people don't post all the time. Rambling isn't for everyone. ;)
Which isn't to say that it isn't for me. Monday is over. Working later in the day actually makes the day go slower. Who knew? Not me. Reading over all y'all's posts, I have but a short few comments:
#1. Rev- ouch. Been there with that crappy liver stuff. The up-side is, lay off for a while, and then when your doc decides that you can imbibe again without having to be armed with an epi-pen - YOU WILL BE SO DRUNK! No tolerance! Wooooo-hoooo! Trust me. 3 drinks and you'll be taking off your bra - oh wait. That's not you, that's me, or at least us. But maybe we can all hold out for a nice boxer shorts party. :)
#2. Hooray for homemaking! And DerK, I found a lovely spot for links on your blog. Easy. Seriously. It even tells you where in the code. If you don't like it there, that's a different story. Then you may be on your own.

And now for a little more updating on my life, such as it is.
Life is happy here. We are figuring out ways to make bills go away. This makes me happy.
Had a lovely (if chilly) time on the 4th at the Jones'. Fire good (grunt grunt). S'mores good. Friends good. Singing patriotic songs while we're trying to enjoy some colorful explosions - BAD. Very very bad.
Friday night we were in some place very wooded near Milwaukee for Mother's sister's wedding. I don't think that makes B. our aunt, but it was a very good time. Mother has a very fun family (and friends of the family) and all was good, except for the giant mosquito bite on my butt. You should have realized that it couldn't have been all good when I started with the phrase "very wooded". We missed A.lo's par-tay, but I figure it's not my fault if he thinks it's intruding to just have his party on his birthday when we're all together anyway. (This is me giving you shit, Shirley.) That evening I also came to the conclusion that I don't think I could run a salon as big as the one B. works at. There were probably a dozen of her co-workers at the reception, and I came to the conclusion, backed up by Mrs. Jones, that hair people are volatile. Managing that many people would make a salon unnecessary for me, as would tear out all my hair, I'm fairly certain.
Saturday UPB and I went to Sawdust Days. I was hot. (you can re-read that if you missed it the first time) It was as if the crust of the earth had worn thin at Menominee Park and the air temp was increasing due to escaping geothermal energy. HOT. We ate some carny food (better than average by far) and I supported the local veterans, and then we went to DQ for some ice cream. We took in MIB II and enjoyed it very much.
Sunday we enjoyed the company of Gemini and O Fortuna, who I can only imagine will be building their own blogs as soon as their reacclimated to the "dry heat" of the desert SW.
And that brings us to today. Today I found out that Jon at work thinks I can "take him", so he doesn't want to start any trouble with me. I plan to keep it that way. I called B'gosh and left a message over my lunch hour. I told K.at work that I feel like someone who went on a first date and thought it was love at first sight... call me. I'm really excited to see you again. I'll leave my number again in case you don't have it. Really... call me. I'm waiting to hear from you. Call me. Please. Just call. You said you'd call..... Oof.
Oh. And still no modem. Still on the slow-ass dial-up. And Northnet can't seem to keep us connected. It's nice. Just a little while longer.... I guess we've waited this long, a few more days won't actually kill me.
So.... that's my story. TTFN.

Wednesday, July 3

I'm at work. I don't feel real great. But hey! Cadre isn't calling my house, and if they were, they'd reach me through *yeah* TDS. We got the hook-up yesterday. DSL, here we come! Should have the new modem any day now. Happy happy joy joy.
And a big happy happy joy joy to our birthday pals, Mother and Shirley. Much love and cake and stuff.

Tuesday, July 2

So - I get all excited about my new template and then never post again. Sorry.
It's been a little busy.
The B'Gosh interview went well, I think. I should know more next week when the person that would actually hire me is back in the country.
Spent the weekend in Crivetts with Mrs. Jones & Lady Ala Mode & Cher. It was crazy. Drunken crazy. Having to break up fights crazy. I also think that the heat got to me. I was super sick on Sunday, which I understandably blamed on the booze. However, I ended up calling in sick to work yesterday and today cuz I didn't really feel any better. So I'm thinking that maybe it was actually the heat? Pukey. All the time. It sucks. But I was informed by my Cadre lady that (evidently even if it means puking all over my desk and coworkers) that I have to go to work tomorrow. Because they're considering hiring me on full time. And I've called in way too often. Now, they technically have already offered me a job, and if my attendance was in question, they didn't mention it at the time. Nonetheless, I think I'm going to have a little chat with my boss tomorrow and see how she feels about the whole thing. I was more than a little annoyed at the inference that I am a crappy Cadre worker. Because I've worked with some of the other losers they don't mind cutting checks to, and I find it more than a little offensive that I am more of a problem than those people. *Ugh* Again - really looking forward to that call from B'Gosh.
But just so you don't think it's ALL bad, I got a really funny e-mail from K. at work and instead of clogging in-boxes, I thought I'd just post it here (enjoy):
1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox In Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo - Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. The Cat in the Blender
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?
13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants

Little Golden Books That Never Made It
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: an I-Can-Do-It book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

That's it for me for tonight. See y'all tomorrow evening.