OWwwwww!

Yesterday was fun.
I went to the K/BIS trade show in Chicago with Tang. Plaid, Shaft, and Dr. A. It was a good time. We got to pretend we were in the "industry", and are now anticipating a multitude of emails from "suppliers" who want us to "buy stuff".
Going to trade shows when you aren't actually working is awesome. Free champagne, red wine, cheese and fresh-baked cupcakes (thank you Electrolux!) Frighteningly cheap glass tiles (oh yes, you will be mine!) and getting down with our bad selves as the LG dj spun the hot tunes.
There but the two down-sides to this event:
1) It was in Chicago, and that is sort of far away for a one-day trip, so even though I didn't have to drive (thank you sooooo much to those who did), it's still a bit of a hike.
2) OMG! That place is so effing huge and I haven't walked that much in a very long time. I think the Kohler booth alone was about the size of the block I live on. And I am paying for it today. I can hardly move my legs. I took a nice, long nap this afternoon. That didn't actually help too much, but it was delightful.
In 2010 I think I'm going to suggest taking two days to take it all in. Uf-da.

deja vu

seems the last time I posted, it was due to the fact that I was painfully bored at work.
Huh.
Well, today I'm posting because
1) I'm painfully bored at work and
2) This has led me to significant web surfing, finding fun things to bookmark and to the realization that I should not have a craft-type blog because I do not fall into either of two categories:
2a) Interesting: I am not interesting enough to come up with quips or insights to counteract my very, very low craft-productivity and
2b) Crafty: I can't imagine how I could craft more. Yet it really isn't enough to support a website that people would go to in hopes to find, you know, crafts.
So you see, Reader: I have no content. And content is what this-here internets is interested in. As are you, most likely, and thus I now owe you an apology.

But why??

Sometimes, I post for no good reason.
This is one of those times.
I am at work, and don't especially want to be, so I will do this. And look for patterns to make with my New Yarn. And shop online for new shoes.
And say a big "thank you" to all the Bad Guys who helped me celebrate yet another wonderful birthday month. Hooray for good presents and great friends! My fingers are crossed that this year is a healthier one than the one prior.
Big boss is hovering so I should attempt to look productive. Only two hours left of this thankfully short week.

Phil said

I should post this story,
and since I was nearly peeing my pants remembering it, just moments after it happened last weekend, it's probably a keeper...
My good friend Dave and I share a common interest in home remodeling and repair, some of you may know. To that end, we took a little road trip to Milwaukee last weekend to some home improvement expo or another - evidently they all run together to me and I can't be bothered to look up which one it was - thus making their ad agency burst into tears. Unless they decide to read on, in which case, they will know I am NOT their target market anyway, and it's fine.
Dave and I, who is my friend and not my husband, therefore we do not share a house, nor appliances, thus confusing all vendors we encountered, had a loverly time at the home show. We observed amazing innovations in ... um.... well, there were windows. And cool kitchen appliances. And there was paint. Dave offered to buy all the windows a certain sexist gentleman had ever sold if he could guess the recent purchase sitting in Dave's driveway. The gentleman could not. All in all, a good time, until..... The Home Depot display. There, SalesMan Friendly wanted to show all of the features of the very sparkly new LG washer and dryer. They were a billionty dollars in addition to being red metallic. SMF suggested Dave get one of this model, one from their previous model (blue metallic) and the white bases and get all patriotic on his laundry. Dave pointed out that he already had a blue washer and a red dryer (oddly enough) thanks to the help of Rustoleum spray paint. SMF looks at me (presumably "the wife") and with a thumbing motion over his shoulder says, "bet she loved that!" My response was, "My washing machine has a penguin on it." in about the most matter-of-fact way you can state something that is, in truth, a matter of fact. At this point, SMF gives me the blink-blink, looks at Dave, looks at me, determines I'm retarded, and continues to talk to Dave about the features of the LG washer and dryer for another 20 minutes without ever addressing me again. Now, this was practically the end of the show, and I have to admit I was a bit pooped, and it really didn't even occur to me until we were driving back home that this was the case. And then it did. And then I couldn't stop laughing. I was crying I was laughing so hard. He really didn't ever speak to me again - you mention penguins once and you're cut off - that's the rule, I guess. Fair enough.
Next time, though, we're definitely going with a back-story. If I'm going to be retarded, it's not going to be an accident.
As an aside - for some reason I decided to spell-check this post (clearly if you check past posts, not a habit of mine) and blogger wanted me to replace peeing with penis... I'm just saying... people pee, therefore peeing should be a word, right?

Remember When...

- the majority of the bad guys posted on their blogs all the time?
- some bad guys decided to never blog again, but then did; and others made no such declaration, but then just stopped posting?

I'm just saying... I have clearly gotten so old that I have nothing of import to say, and in my years I have gained the wisdom to know as much. Also, you know, I barely leave the house.

We did leave the house yesterday - I left it twice, in fact. Once to go to a book sale at the Ripon Library, which was Rippin' Good!! I was hoping to find some lovely knitting books (cuz a girl can never have too many!), and I did not find books, but I did find pattern magazines from I don't know when. They are older than me. They are hysterical!! All pants bulging and smoking and wearing lovely knits made out of yarns that are no longer manufactured. LOVE THEM!! Oh Spinnerin "Fresh and Jaunty", how could I not love you?

My 2nd trip out of the home was to the dog park with UPB and little Miss S. We met a big slobberpuss on the way in, who managed to slobber me on both legs... my pants didn't dry out until we were about ready to leave the park half and hour later. But... that's the fun of the dp.

Ok - here's how you can tell there's something wrong with me: whenever we go to the dp, it seems that all of the other people there are friends, or like there's some sort of clique or club or secret handshake that we don't know so we don't get to play their reindeer games. Were I Shaft, I would have already gone on several rants about how I get the stink eye when I go there. It's strange, I know. What kind of dork do you have to be to feel like you're getting the stink eye from a bunch of strangers at the dog park? Well - this kind. I am biased towards my dog, as all dog owners should be, but come on... she's beautiful!! You've met her; you know. (or, at least, you've probably met her...) And at the park, she's even (generally) well-behaved. Yet, especially recently, I feel like the other people snub us. Somehow, when I go there, the "strangers talk to me" sticker falls right off my forehead. This is unfortunate, because unlike, say, doctors' waiting rooms or Hobby Lobby or everywhere else on earth, at the dp I would actually enjoy talking to people sometimes. "Oh... what a neat dog! What kind is it? Really - a dingo, you say... well, I never would have guessed they could be so sweet!" etc...

But alas. I am a dog park loser. *sigh*

Tiny God

That's me. Which is to say: I did it. I went out into the summer heat and pulled weeds and maybe got a little sunburned, but the bed by the garage has no weeds and I did it and this, sadly, is a major accomplishment.
And now I mostly just want to take a nap. *crap*

Blogger is giving me all kinds of crap when I try to publish. I will give it another couple'a tries and after that, well, I got nothing.

Look At Me!

I'm going outside today! No, really! And I plan to even do some weeding in the little garden by the garage. Yes, I know it's a millionty degrees outside, I'm prepared even for that.
I got my stitches out yesterday, and I've been working hard on a birthday present for my grandma that is turning out so cool that even UPB is impressed. He says that if we would have had some bags like this at the art sale we would have sold some, and he's probably right. It really is lovely, and I'm sure Gram will like it, and won't tell me if she doesn't. But she will.
The design on it is needle-felted, and I have IP and Machine to thank for that. I went nuts at the yarn shop and now I'm totally hooked. There's no limit to the designs you can make, and it's pretty easy, and did I mention how cool it looks? The only downside was discovered when I woke up this morning for the millionth time (bad night with an unbelievably sleepless Miss S) I had a sea of red, purple, and green fluff awaiting me in the living room. You see, you start the needle felting with something called roving, which is un-spun wool (or silk, or alpaca, or... you get the idea). Image an enormous cotton ball. Now imagine my little shredder getting her paws on it. It was ugly, but I'm pretty sure that the fluff is none the worse for the wear. But it's now all in plastic bags, and I don't intend on letting it happen again, if for no other reason than it wasn't any fun to pick up. (Remember, I'm still not supposed to bend!)
Despite my numerous restrictions, I do want to try to do something today. I know everyone is concerned that I've become a sloth. Truth be told, I've always been a sloth. So, nothing to worry about there. Eventually, though, I'm going to have to go back to work (so I'm told), so I should start actually doing things to get ready for that. Bleck.
I have been watching a ton of HGTV, so I am starting to get that "I need to Paint!" itch (lucky you, Dave!) and I have a burning desire to go to IKEA. IKEA wears me out when I'm at 100%, I think I may need to try out every chair there if I go now, but I still want to go. And I can't even think of anything we need! Nonetheless.... me wanty.
Now, before I lose all ambition, I'd best be off. Watch out weeds - your time as come!

the slow road

Hi!
Home again, home again, jiggity jig... This is my 6th week out of work - I would have been back to work today full time, most likely, if it weren't for my little spinal fluid hiccups. Luckily, I have another 3 weeks or so to recoup, and today will involve a little extra pampering thanks to Mrs. Jones' birthday present. I am very much looking forward to having extra pretty soft feet to put up while I do almost nothing but knit, read, and well, blog I guess.
I am, at present, wearing the pink sweater that I've been working on seemingly forever, but I didn't actually do the last finishing step, and I think I need to before the public gets a viewing. Soon, though, very soon! And in the meantime there are lots of socks to knit! :) Shut up... I'm not crazy.
Most of the badguys know that I have officially entered the realm of the lame and I created a myspace account. I am now friends with Moby and TMBG, as well as with The Inkwell Collective, as it should be. I have to admit that it is very exciting to get in touch with a few actual old friends, though. I have to say that I find the pages to be not as user-friendly formatting-wise as blogger is, which makes me not want to spend very much time on it. It has, however, inspired me to consider trying to organize a 13-year reunion for my graduating class (since we skipped the 10-year thing, which only makes sense for us). I'm heading home this weekend for Grandma's B-day (and free corn!) and if I run in to any of the alumns I may see if anyone would be up for such a thing.
The little girl had us up at 4:15 this morning. Lesson: if we let her sleep all day, we can't go anywhere at night without doing something to tire her out first. Or else. Thankfully LiFest should be over any day now and we can go back to the DP.
Dang... turns out when you spend a month on your back, there isn't much interesting to write about.

The Times We Live In

Ok everyone... guess where I am! If you said lying on your back in a hospital room, you'd be right. But it's the fact that I get better signal strength here on their public free network than I do on my own couch at home which has me a bit miffed. No... I think I've just OD'd (so to speak) on technology this week what with the cisternogram and dermabond and whatnot. Yet here I am, blogging for the first time in I didn't check how long, on my bozoputer, in the middle of the night... because I can. Sorry to say, though, it does not appear I can get my chatty program to work. For real conversation, I'll just have to rely on the old-skool stuff...if you want I'll e-mail you my digits ;)

Forever and a Day

I know, I know...
anyway. I am bored at work. Painfully, unendingly bored. My assistant is off, so I can't even add fuming to my list of things to do.
The main reason for my post, however, in to rant about something altogether different: wall paper.
I hate wallpaper. Never moreso than now, as I will be spending at least the better part of my weekend dealing with the aftermath of removing it from probably the smallest room of my house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I knew it would be a pain, I knew it would be messy, wet, possibly involving chemicals. I had no idea that, along with the wallpaper, I would end up removing half of the paper from the drywall below. Let me tell you, friends... this is not cool. I beg any of you contemplating wallpapering something to stop, drop, and kick yourself in the head. Also, if you must wallpaper, for the LOVE OF GOD, paint at least a primer coat over bare drywall first! You see, every wallpaper removing technique, chemical, tool, or other voodoo does not differentiate between paper you want off and paper that must remain on the frickin' wall. That is why we love paint, that easy to apply barrier that keeps all things safe, where mistakes are relatively easy and affordable to fix, and where nothing evil ever has to happen to the thing below that cannot be undone. Unless, I guess, your desire is to go back to bare drywall, cuz you're an idiot or something, and like looking at spackle holes, but whatever... I wasn't talking to you anyway.
So - after removing paper I didn't want, and paper I did, I got to seal what was left with a "low odor" sealant. I thought I was going to get a nosebleed. It is actually quite stinky, which makes me wonder what the "high odor" option is. I sure will not be trying to find out. Step two, for tomorrow, will be basically covering the entire lower half of our basement bathroom/laundry room walls in the contractor's version of Bondo. Then sanding. Then sealing (again the smell!). Then, finally, painting.
I imagine some people out there (including my mother in law) are saying, "why didn't you just paint over the wallpaper?). I'll tell you why: cuz that's just half-assed, and I would have stared at the seams in the wallpaper, peaking through the paint that should be nice and smooth, and it would have given me an aneurism. Maybe not the first day, or the second, but eventually, that girl, her horse, and that semester in college would have gotten the better of me, and I would have just keeled over dead. And I don't want to die in a bathroom/laundry room. I mean, how sad would that be?